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Dan O'neill |
Date: 05/25/04 05:26:09
To: peter@rutt.inuk.com
Subject: More cinema memories
As my cinema story seemed to amuse at least one person enough
to write about it, I thought perhaps you would like to hear
ome more? Here is another piece I wrote for my school website
(Walpole Grammar school in Northfields) on the same subject.
Hope you find it amusing.
All the best,
Dan.
HIGH JINKS
well, due to the response elicited by my 'Matinee Madness' tale,
Perhaps another 'cinematic' chapter is in order. A Cinema that
was visited on a fairly infrequent basis, was the 'Walpole Picture
Theatre' more widely known as 'The Bug House'! near Ealing Broadway
The name was richly deserved, as countless generations of insects
lived off the poor misfortunates that sat in their nests. The Walpole
was only considered when there was a film on that could not be seen
elsewhere. Usually a horror picture. In those days it was mostly Hammer
Horror films with the ubiquitous Christopher Lee. The reason we chose
to risk picking up a fascinating skin disease, was simple, the woman
who sold the tickets was incredibly short sighted. So much so, that I
don't think she could actually see outside the ticket booth at all. She
was in her mid forties, thin, with glasses so thick, that you winced
every time she looked at (well, near) you. The poor woman had even more
problems. I suppose, due to her sight, she walked at high speed in a sort
of half run ( in a very similar style to 'Olympic walking) but she somehow
managed to keep her head a good three feet in front of the rest of her
body so her backside stuck out like the photos you see in Victorian
Anthropology magazines of 'The Hottentot Tribe' She was a local landmark
for many years. But I digress. Obviously then, there was no problem getting
into see the flick as long as you had someone who's voice had broken to buy
the tickets! Once inside, we settled down to watch Peter Cushing stalk
Christopher Lee to his coffin under the old castle where he would lure
the young maidens of the village and feast on their blood while we watched.
Which was very ironic really, as while we watched, something nasty in the
basement was feasting on our blood! Now the ABC as we knew it (or the 'Forum'
to you older types) in Ealing Broadway, was a far superior cinema. It always
showed the choicest films and had the most sumptuous decor, but was more
difficult to access when underage. Unless of course you took the alternative,
and 'illegal' route! The answer of course was to simply 'bunk in'. The
procedure was simple enough, a whip round was required for sufficient funds
for the oldest looking bloke in the group to buy a ticket, and when appropriate,
he would go to the Gents, open the fire escape to one side of the gents where
we would all be positioned, ready to enter one at a time, and casually saunter
over to our seats in an orderly fashion. It was just like a scene from one of
those 50's black and white films 'Escape from Stalag Luft 9' 'Okay Jumbo, your
turn now, Good luck old man! I say, you're next Ginger, Tally Ho Chaps!' One
magnificent June afternoon, we had just finished our English O level exams and
had the rest of the afternoon off. There was a group of about seven of us, 5th
and 6th formers, and as we walked through Walpole park, we decided that we
would go and see Clint Eastwood in 'Dirty Harry' at the ABC. Naturally, the
15 year olds in the group had no chance of seeng this 'x rated ' flick. The whip
round generated enough for 2 tickets and the 'big lads' went in. We waited by
the fire escape in the time honoured way, and sure enough, the big door creaked
open and we made ready to enter. I was the last one in, as sufficient time had
to elapse between 'arrivals' and 'departures'. So I stood outside in the blazing
sun for about ten minutes till I judged the time was right, and I made my
entrance. And what an entrance it was! I closed the door and briskly (but in
a casual way) strode across the open space between the toilets and the front
seats. I was totally blinded as I had come from brilliant sunlight into total
darkness, and crashed at full speed into the front row of seats and executed
a spectacular somersault over the back of the seats to lie groaning on the
floor of the second row! Of course the crash alerted the usher who promptly
arrived. She menaced us with her torch, and asked to see our tickets. I looked
around, and as my sight returned, I saw that there were only two other people
in the cinema apart from our group and we didn't stand a chance of spoofing
our way it of it as we were all in school uniform. No one relished the idea of
'explaining' to Nobby Clarke our headmaster the next morning, as we would almost
certainly get at least three on backside for such an offence (but that's another
story), so we switched to 'Plan B' which consisted of everyone splitting up and
'legging it' in different directions and surprisingly, it worked, and Ginger,Jumbo
and the rest of the 'chaps' got back to Blighty in time for tea and toast once
again! There is a new arrival at the 'friends reunited' site, Stuart Ramage. We
were mates at school, and he was frequently a participant in 'Plan B'! I met up
with him again recently after 30 years and it all came back to me so blame him
for these wretched stories! Well, after so much mental exertion, I'm sure you
will excuse me now if I go and lie down in a darkened room for a while!
Kind regards to you all,
Dan.
What a great site!! I was amazed and delighted that someone had
gone to the trouble. I was a pupil at St, John's Catholic Primary
School in Clifden road in the early sixties. I loved Brentford
and know it well. I lived in Northfields but used to get the 97
Bus in every morning! I live in Ireland now but get to Ealing at
least once a year and I always make a little pilgrimage to Brentford
to see what is left of the old places! I would dearly love a photo
of the old School, do any of the books you mentioned have one? What
a shame about the baths in Clifden Road. As far as I can see they
are waiting for them to fall down! They should be listed and preserved
but I suppose they will go eventually. Well I will be off now, once
again, well done and keep up the good work!
Kind regards,
Dan O'Neill
I replied with asking Dan if he remembered the old serials they
use to have at the Northfields Odean Cinema, on saturday mornings.
Hi Peter,
Thanks for the message. I remember Saturday mornings at the Odeon
as well! They were still showing those Flash Gordon serials in the
mid sixties! It would be great my school chums. We used to play in
the bombed out shops along Brentford High Street (where the big
supermarket is now) and they were still ruins in the sixties I will
be over to Ealing in the next couple of months and will be in touch.
All the best,
Dan.
I was speaking to a chap named Richard Green,
who use to live in Albany Road and I told him
of your request for a photo and you had been at
St. John's school, lo and behold, he said that
he had also gone to St. Johns and he said he might
have a photo in his belongings. So lets pray he
comes up with one. I rang the "Brentford & Chiswick
Newspaper" photography department and it appears
that they did not keep any photos until 1970,
they have nothing on file before that date. I will
keep you informed of any info I receive.
That's great news, Lets hope Richard can 'come up
with the goods'! It would be great to see the old
place again! It's funny but apart from the new
houses on the site and across the road, almost
nothing has changed in that area since I was a
lad! A bit of a 'Twilight Zone! I look forward
to hearing from you soon Peter,
Kind regards,
So if anybody out on the internet knows our Dan,
send him an email!!! and if you have a Photo,
let Dan know.
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